Beyond the Barents Sea
by redjagglerock
Summary: An unexpected visitor brings surprising news to Harm and forces him to make a decision.
1. Things Are Not What They Seem

A/N: For the purposes of this story, I'm playing very loosely with any and all events after Season 6. Some things happened, others didn't. Takes places during Season 10. I initially had Admiral Morris as the judge, but Captain Carey seemed to be the judge for many episodes in Season 10, so I felt he was more appropriate for the timeline.

Thanks to a special friend who gave this one a read for me.

* * *

**JAG HQ**

**Falls Church, VA**

Jennifer yawns as she walks into JAG OPS at o' dark thirty. She hopes that today will be a better day at JAG than it has been recently. There has been so much tension in the office since Admiral Chegwidden retired and Sturgis was appointed the "Acting JAG." Pretty much no one was happy with the "by the book" preacher's son at the helm, except maybe Commander Roberts. Adding to the stress was the strain between Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie. Scuttlebutt has it that CIA Officer Clayton Webb faked his own death, and that Mac had subsequently broken things off with him. Jen would have thought that the break-up would have eased the tension between Harm and Mac. Instead, it seems to have the opposite effect. Harm is trying to be there for her, but Mac seems to be wound tighter than an antique clock! Additionally, rumors are flying everywhere on who is on the short list to become the new JAG, and any name that comes up appears to have someone screaming for the woods. The latest name circulating is Captain Krennick. Although Coates has never personally met Captain Krennick, she has heard plenty of stories about the woman being a barracuda. She shudders at the thought of having to work for someone like that!

Mattie kept her up late last night rambling on about her upcoming date with Kevin. Ah, to be young and in love. They were giggling so hard at one point that Commander Rabb came over to see what all the hoopla was about. She hadn't realized the walls in the building were quite that thin. The identical blushes on Jennifer and Mattie's faces and the term "girl talk" was all he wanted to know.

Harm left their apartment shaking his head. He wasn't ready to deal with a teenager girl interested in a teenage boy. Especially one that he hadn't met. However, his Navy issue 9mm was cleaned, polished, and loaded if necessary. He resigned himself to the fact that "the talk" was coming sooner rather than later. He could only hope that he could adequately explain things without getting too embarrassed himself.

* * *

Shortly after all the senior attorneys arrive, Sturgis calls them all into his office. Even though several of them have court cases on the docket today, there is administrative work to be completed as well. Mac, Bud, and Harm all exit the office with arms full of file folders relating to JAG instructions and budget numbers that need to be updated. Grumbling can be heard from the Colonel and the Commander as they make their way to their respective offices to drop off the mountains of paperwork, and get to the courtroom on time. Jennifer chuckles at the sight until Sturgis drops several additional piles on her desk to be distributed after court has adjourned for the day. She mutters to herself, "So much for today being better."

By mid-morning, things have settled down a little, other than the various calls from the SecNav's office. Jennifer answers her ringing phone, "JAG HQ, Petty Officer Coates speaking."

The Marine guard from the front gate, Gunnery Sergeant Edwards, says, "Ma'am, I have been trying to reach Commander Rabb. Do you happen to know where he is?"

The Petty Officer politely responds, "The CDR is in court, can I take a message for you?"

The Marine replies, "There is a Mrs. Tate from Social Services here to see him. She doesn't have an appointment, and I can't seem to find her name on the visitor's request log."

Jennifer is immediately worried. She thinks, 'what in the world would Mrs. Tate being doing here? Oh Lord, Mattie!' Jennifer says, "It's ok Gunny. I'm familiar with her also, please send her right up, and I will get a message to the Commander."

Jennifer hangs up the phone, jots a note on a piece of paper, and hurries to the courtroom. Inside, she briskly walks up behind the prosecution table and taps Commander Rabb on the shoulder. He turns around and takes the note from her. All color immediately drains from his face. The only reason Mrs. Tate would be here is if something is wrong with Mattie. He turns back to Captain Carey. "Your honor, may I have an immediate recess please?"

The Captain wonders if this is one of Rabb's antics until he notices the stricken appearance of the normally calm and collected Commander. He bangs the gavel and grants the prosecutor's request. "Court adjourned until 0900 tomorrow."

CDR Rabb quickly says, "Thank you, your honor," and races out of the courtroom, with Jen hot on his heels. "Jennifer, what is wrong? Did she say anything about Mattie?"

Inside the courtroom, Colonel Mackenzie and Captain Carey share a questioning glance wondering what the hell is going on. Captain Carey comes down from the bench and asks the MP's to secure the defendant. Once they are alone in the courtroom, he asks the Colonel, "What do you think all that was about?"

Mac states, "I have no idea, but I don't think that it has anything to do with the case. Harm was white as a sheet. Even if it was new evidence, I don't think he would have reacted that way. Something personal must be going on. Oh God, I hope nothing has happened to his mother, his grandmother, or Mattie!" She continues, "Captain, may I be excused to see if I can figure out what is going on?"

The Captain agrees. He might be hard ass in the courtroom, but he does have a heart. "Yes Colonel, if something has happened to a family member, he is going to need your support. Please let me know if there is anything I can do."

Mac turns to go find Harm and figure out what is going on.

Outside the courtroom, Jennifer is having a hard time keeping up with his long strides. "I didn't speak to yet her, Sir. I just told the guard to let her up."

By the time they reach the doors leading into JAG Ops, Mrs. Tate is just stepping off of the elevator. Harm dismisses PO Coates and leads Mrs. Tate across the bullpen towards his office, panic still evident on his features.

As Jennifer saunters back to her desk, she contemplates the situation. Mrs. Tate didn't seem upset. She highly doubts that if something were seriously wrong with Mattie that she would even be here. As her social worker, she would have been at the hospital with her charge. She would be calling, not showing up at the office. Mattie has been spending more time in Blacksburg with her father lately, and they have begun the reconciliation process. While this is good for Mattie, Jen worries how the Commander will handle it if Mattie decides to move back in with her father. She thinks, 'Oh No! Maybe there was a hearing to revisit custody and/or visitation. That would easily explain the social workers' need to see Harm.' She immediately dismisses that theory as neither Mattie or the Commander have mentioned any court appearances nor has Mattie expressed any verbal desire to return to her father's custody just yet. She decides her worry will just have to wait; the Commander will let her know what is going on when he has a chance.

Harm ushers the social worker into his office and shuts the door. He immediately starts firing off questions, "Mattie? What happened?"

Mrs. Tate looks up at the tall, handsome Commander and patiently sets a hand on his arm, "Relax, Commander. Mattie is fine. I didn't even think about how this would look to you when I requested to be let into headquarters."

Harm visibly loosens up, and sits down behind his desk, waving his hand to offer Mrs. Tate the other chair, "If Mattie is fine, what are you doing here?"

Mrs. Tate takes the offered seat, inhales deeply, and inquires, "Commander, do you know a woman by the name of Renee Peterson?"


	2. Renee's Surprise

**A/N: Oh, the rants and the raves in the reviews! I love the feedback, good and bad.**

* * *

**Beyond the Barents Sea**

**Chapter 2: Renee's Surprise**

****

Harm's hairs are immediately standing up on the back of his neck. The warning bells are going off in his head about the implications of a Social Services Representative talking to him about Renee. He can only think of a few situations that this would occur, and none of them are good.

When Mac walks into the bullpen and sees that Harm's door closed with a woman inside, she walks over to Jennifer's desk. "Petty Officer, WHAT is going on?"

Jen looks up and wonders what is she is supposed to say. It's not her place to divulge the Commander's personal life. She meekly states, "I'm not sure, Ma'am."

Mac is not in the least bit happy with the lack of response. She grunts, "Ok, then do you know who the woman is in the Commander's office?"

Jennifer politely answers, short, sweet, and to the point, "Mrs. Tate."

Mac is becoming increasingly more frustrated by the second, "Elaborate! Who is Mrs. Tate?"

Jennifer knows she is about to feel the full wrath of the Colonel's frustration. She looks at Mac with contempt in her eyes, "With all due respect, Ma'am, I'm sorry. You will have to ask the Commander to explain that to you. It's just not my place."

Mac stomps off in a huff, heels clicking on the linoleum, determined to get to the bottom of things the second that door opens. Harm isn't going to need to worry about Krennick chasing him around a desk. He is going to deal with a very irate Marine Colonel first who might leave a section of his six for a new JAG to chew off!

Inside Harm's office, he inhales a deep breath, "Mrs. Tate, I haven't seen or spoken to Renee Peterson in four years. The last time I saw her, she was headed to Minnesota because her father died. She left, after I refused to accompany her to the funeral. I had just been released from the hospital myself after ditching my Tomcat in the Atlantic Ocean, where I spent several hours before Search and Rescue was able to find me. I never heard from her after that."

Mrs. Tate nods, absorbing his words for a moment. "Ms. Peterson remained in Minnesota until about two years ago. She moved back to Alexandria shortly after her mother passed away. My assumption is that she needed a fresh start."

Harm replies, "I'm sorry for her loss, but what does that have to do with me?"

Mrs. Tate solemnly says, "The hospital called us after Ms. Peterson died at Georgetown Memorial from injuries sustained in a car accident on the beltway last night."

Harm frowns at this news, are all of his former flames destined to die young? He walks over to stare out his window as he absorbs this latest blow. His comment to Mac several years ago about "all the men in her life being dead or feeling like they are" echoes in his head. Apparently the same applies to the women in his. He quietly says, "Wow. I don't know what to say. She was a great woman, just not the one I was meant to spend my life with. I'll do whatever I can to help with the funeral arrangements. Forgive me for being blunt, but I don't understand how the death of Renee Peterson brought you to me."

Mrs. Tate pulls an envelope out of her purse and hands it to the Commander, "Perhaps this will explain things a little better than I can."

He takes the proffered letter with shaking hands, uses his letter opener to pry open the contents, and leans back in his chair to read. In elegant script he finds the following words, "Dear Harm, if you are reading this letter, then I must be gone. I found out shortly after arriving in Minnesota for my father's funeral that I was pregnant. I didn't know how to face you after this discovery, which is why you never heard from me again. I would never even ask this of you if my mother was still alive, but alas, she passed shortly after my father. I never met anyone that was as caring and as honorable as you. I realize that all of this must come as a shock. Please consider my request that you be the one to raise my daughter. She is a fantastic, bright girl. Finding out that I was carrying her became a ray of sunshine in my life in some of my darkest hours. I know that she will flourish under your loving care and guidance. All my Best wishes. Love, Renee."

As he sets the letter down, Harm cannot comprehend all the emotions and questions running through his head. 'Why didn't she ever say anything? What would this mean for him and Mattie, and hopefully sometime in the future, Mac? How would everyone else react to the news? Where would he live? Could he take on the responsibility of another child?'

After he takes a moment to quiet the unsettling thoughts, one thing sticks out. It dawns on him that Renee referred to "my daughter" not "our daughter" in her letter. As a lawyer, he tries to not ask a question he doesn't know the answer to, but in this case, he doesn't have a choice. He looks back up at Mrs. Tate and quietly whispers, "Is she mine?"


	3. Faith, Hope, and Charity

**Beyond the Barents Sea**

**Chapter 3: Faith, Hope, and Charity**

Mrs. Tate sighs, she knew he would ask if the child is his, and she doesn't have the answer. She is completely aware of how seriously the Commander takes his commitment to fatherhood. He is deeply devoted to Mattie, who isn't biologically his. He took her under his wing, and allowed her to live the life of a normal teenager. She can only imagine how extensive that bond would be to a child that is of his own flesh and blood. How could any woman, let alone whoever this Ms. Peterson was, possibly keep this man from his own child? Her own note shows that she is aware of how kind and generous of a man he is. There simply has to be another explanation. Mrs. Tate can only hope that the Commander will be willing to take the leap to share his kindness with another child whether she belongs to him or not. She solemnly tells him, "I honestly do not know, Commander. We can do a simple paternity test to determine that, if it will help set your mind at ease."

Harm nods and queries, "Do you have a picture of her?"

The social worker nods, extracting a slim file from her purse. She hands the Commander a photo, "Here is what I do know, Charity Michaela Peterson was born October 21, 2001, in St. Paul, Minnesota. There is no name listed as the father on the birth certificate. As there are no living relatives that we are aware of, there should be no dispute over custody. We have not located a will at this time, but her letter should suffice as an expression of her wishes in regards to her daughter. I don't need to tell you all of this, I sometimes forget that you are a lawyer and are fully aware of all the bureaucratic red tape."

While Harm is listening, he is enthralled by what he sees in the picture. A beautiful little girl with dark brown curly hair and piercing green eyes. The first thought that crosses his mind it that this is how he'd always imagined what his daughter with Mac would look like. He is startled from his introspection by Mrs. Tate saying there was no will for Renee. "I don't understand. If there is no will, and no attorney that you are aware of, then where did her note to me come from?"

Mrs. Tate explains, "The police obtained it from her boss at the news station, when they went to speak to them after the accident. The rest of what I am telling you is hearsay at best, but it is what her station chief told the police. Apparently, while Ms. Peterson was in Minnesota, she produced a segment for the local news affiliate that pissed the wrong person off. She ended up with a stalker. That stalker is now currently supposed to be behind bars. Once the perpetrator was put away, she moved back to Virginia as an extra safety precaution. Since she was still shaky from the aftermath of the whole ordeal, she left the note with her employer in case anything ever happened to her."

This immediately grabs Harm's attention, since investigations are one of the key elements of his own occupation, "So are you saying her car accident may not have actually been an accident? That this stalker was possibly released and came after her?"

Mrs. Tate responds, "There has been no evidence thus far that I am aware of to suggest foul play. That being said, all of the people involved in the collision are dead except for Charity, and a woman from a different vehicle, who is currently in a coma. They aren't sure whether the other woman will make it or not, even if she does wake up. Charity is currently under observation at the hospital with a policeman outside her room. She only sustained minor injuries in the crash, but they want to monitor her for a couple of days, both physically and emotionally. She is quite scared and confused right now, but we will do our best to keep her content. I can take you to meet her whenever you are ready. That is, if you are even considering honoring Ms. Peterson's request."

Harm begins pacing around the office. He feels like he is on an emotional rollercoaster. Right now, anger is the leading feeling. Renee knows the toll it took on him growing up without a father. If this little girl is his, how could she possibly keep something like this from him? Wasn't she the one who tried to get him to let her in, insisted on it in fact? He lets out an exasperated breath as he sits back down, running his hands through his hair, and trying to find words for this shocking news. The voices in his head start battling it out again. His life has enough crazy things going on right now, and this is a curveball from left field. He has been trying to get Mac to open up to him about both Clay and the endometriosis. They have a full caseload plus extra paperwork, courtesy of Mr. Sanctimonious Prig. He is working on qualifications for the F/A-18 Hornet, as Tomcats are being phased out. There will be a new JAG reporting sometime in the near future, and he is scared to death it might be Captain Krennick. He knows that Mattie is making strides in her relationship with her father, and he figures it is only a matter of time before she decides to move back to Blacksburg with him. Can he really afford to take on any more responsibility right now? On the other hand, can he really turn away a child in need, especially if there is even the remotest chance that she is his biological daughter? His thoughts immediately turn back to Mac. Oh Lord, how will she react to this? She has just been told there is a chance she may never be able to carry a biological child of her own. Could she handle a child, especially Renee's child, coming into their lives, or would this be the proverbial final nail in the coffin of his chance at a relationship with her? Would their little deal now become null and void? Well, there will only be one way to find out. He just has to have a little faith that everything will work out as it should.

Harm folds his hands on the desk in front of him, interlacing his fingers, and states, "I'm going to need a little time to think about this. However, I would like to meet Charity, as a friend of her mother's, for now. And I definitely want to have the DNA Testing done to determine if I am her biological father or not."

Mrs. Tate reaches for the picture of Charity to attach back to the file. Harm is reluctant to let it go yet, and asks, "Do you mind if I hold onto this for the time being?"

Mrs. Tate smiles, "Not at all Commander. Just give me a call when you would like to meet with Charity so that I can arrange to be there."

Harm shakes his head in the negative, "That won't be necessary. I need a couple of hours to get some things settled here, and check on Mattie. I will meet you at the hospital around 1900 hours, if that is convenient for you."

Mrs. Tate puts the folder back into her purse, slides the purse on her shoulder, and stands up to shake his hand. "I look forward to seeing you this evening, Commander."

Harm tries to settle his trembling fingers as he reaches out to shake her extended hand, "Thank you, let me escort you out."

She chuckles, "That won't be necessary. I think I have sent your world into enough of a tailspin already today. You take care of what you need to, and I will see myself out."

Harm opens his door to find both Mac and Jennifer in close proximity to his office, pretending to be doing something else. He knows they are both waiting for answers. Mac looks quite angry, and Jennifer looks quite worried. As he walks Mrs. Tate to the elevator, he contemplates which one he should tackle first.


	4. Role Model Crossing

_A/N: Sorry it's taken me a little bit to get back to this one. I hope to have the next chapter up much quicker._

* * *

**Beyond the Barents Sea**

**Chapter 4: Role Model Crossing**

**JAG HQ**

**Falls Church, VA**

Mrs. Tate insisted that she could find her own way out of JAG HQ and would not let Harm accompany her down to the ground floor. Harm turns away from the closed elevator, and pushes open the glass doors to return to JAG Ops. Time to face the music. He needs to talk to both Mac and Jen. He will deal with Sturgis later. There is nothing he needs to know at this time, and Harm really isn't in the mood for another lecture. He figures he will already get one when he talks to Mac. If Charity is his biological daughter, then he will need to deal with the paperwork to have her formally listed as a dependent. He takes a deep breath and forces his mind to settle. One thing at a time. He finds Mac standing by the copier, eyebrow raised in question. He walks up to her and whispers, "Please go wait in my office, and I will explain in just a few minutes. I need to let Jennifer know that Mattie is ok first, so that she will stop freaking out."

Mac looks back at him, slightly astonished, "Mattie?"

Harm nods, "The woman that was in my office is her social worker. Please give me a couple of minutes, so that I can assure Jennifer that everything is fine, or she will worry herself to death."

Mac isn't happy that she will be second in line to find out what is going on, but she knows how much Jennifer loves her roommate. At least now she has a clue as to who the mystery woman in Harm's office was. She didn't want to admit it, but she was a little upset when he rushed out of court to meet with a woman. She knew it didn't necessarily mean anything by his demeanor, but she still felt a slight pang of jealousy. She idly wonders where that thought came from, it's not like they have been on the best of terms lately. She has no one to blame for that but herself. She is the one that has been pushing him away this time. She nods, "I'll be in my office, that way I can get a little work done while I am waiting for you. Come get me when you are ready to talk."

Harm acknowledges her comments, and starts to head over to Jen's desk. He finds her looking down, and nervously twisting a wad of paper between her hands. She is so entranced in her current activity that she doesn't notice Harm's arrival. Harm, attempting to calm her, lowly says, "Jen."

Jennifer, hearing his voice, immediately jumps to attention, the crumpled paper falling on her desk. "I'm so sorry, Sir."

Harm places a hand on the Petty Officer's arm, "Relax, Jennifer. Mattie is fine. Mrs. Tate was here on a different matter entirely."

Jennifer immediately lets out an exasperated breath, her whole body instantly relaxing, "Thank god! I was so scared. My heart stopped when the Gunny called up asking for your approval to admit her to JAG. I didn't know what to make of her visit, I just knew I had to get you as fast as I could."

Harm gives her a soft smile, "I appreciate all that you do, Jen. Mattie is very lucky to have you as a big sister looking out for her. And I am lucky that you put up with both of us. Taking on the care of a teenager, and a Commander who often acts like a kid can't always be an easy task. I can't truly thank you enough for all that you have done for us."

Jennifer chuckles at his attempt to put her at ease, "It's ok Sir, I learned from the best."

Harm raises his eyebrow in question, knowing how her childhood was, "And who would that be?"

Jen sighs, "The Colonel, many eons ago, when you left me at her house with Chloe for the night. I just wish that the person she was then would shine back through now."

Harm mildly admonishes her, knowing that she is right in a way, but he can't allow the insubordination. "Jen, don't talk about a Senior Officer that way. She's taken a lot of hard knocks in the last year. A lot more than you realize. She'll find her way again."

Jen mutters, "I'm sorry, Sir. I know it isn't my place. I meant no disrespect. I just really miss the smiling, happy Marine she used to be. I kind of looked up to her as an older sister."

Harm whispers, "I miss her too, but it will be alright again, I promise."

Jen sits back down at her desk, "I hope you are right, Sir."

Harm turns to head to Mac's office thinking 'I hope I am right too. Lord only knows what she will think of this curveball.' When he reaches her office door, he takes a deep breath, and knocks.

"Enter" comes the reply from inside the office. As Harm opens the door and walks in, Mac gestures for him to take a seat. She places the file she was reading off to the side of her desk, giving him her undivided attention. Wasting no time with preliminaries, she dives right in, "Ok Sailor, what in the world is going on?"


	5. What Have I Done?

_A/N: Fair warning, seas are going to get a bit bumpy for a little while._

* * *

**Beyond the Barents Sea**

**Chapter 5: What Have I Done?**

**JAG HQ**

**Falls Church, VA**

Harm takes a deep breath, wondering if what he is about to tell her will be equivalent to standing in that minefield in Afghanistan. Well, Mac was willing to risk everything for him then, hopefully she will do it again, or at least be understanding enough to stand by his side through this. He knows that Mac definitely did not care for the woman he often heard referred to as the "Video Princess." She probably only liked Renee a slight bit more than he liked "Bugme." Those were a terrible couple of years, but even though their friendship had diminished some during that time, it was still closer than where they have been lately. He decides to try the blunt approach, and just get it over with. He looks her directly in the eye and tells her, "The social worker, Mrs. Tate, was here to discuss the possibility of me taking on the care of another little girl."

This is definitely not what she was expecting! Immediately irate for some unknown reason, Mac can't contain what comes out of her mouth next, "What? The court barely gave you temporary custody of Mattie, even with my intervention. Surely the Department of Social Services can't think that you would be the best candidate for the job!" She abruptly reaches up to cover her own mouth, not quite believing she actually just said that. Unfortunately, the damage has already been done.

Harm can't even hide the pain and anguish her statement makes. It clearly shows through the smoky depths of his eyes, before he has a chance to bring the shield over them. Even if his eyes didn't betray him, the way his entire body went rigid would have. He tries to maintain some form of decorum, as he explains through gritted teeth, "I'm glad to see that nothing has changed. You initially didn't want to help me with Mattie either. I didn't realize that your jealousy of other women in my life extended to children as well. There are extenuating circumstances in this case, but I guess you are still too closed minded to hear about them. Don't worry about it, Mac, this one I can handle all on my own. I won't even need you to vouch for me in court." He jumps out of the chair to leave.

Mac thinks, 'Oh shit!' She gets up quickly also, "Harm, wait! What extenuating circumstances?"

Harm isn't at all surprised that she is just firing off more questions, rather than apologizing for her strange behavior. After all, that would be a exhibiting a sign of weakness in her otherwise impenetrable Marine armor. He says, "It's not any of your concern at this point."

Realizing that this may be the final nail in the coffin of what used to be the best friendship she has ever had, Mac calls out in desperation, "Harm…I'm sorry."

With his hand on the doorknob, he quietly says, "I am too, Mac, but maybe there is just too much water under the bridge to try and salvage anything at this point."

She is fighting to keep the tears in her eyes from shedding, as she stammers, "I thought you said you would always be there."

Harm lets out a heavy sigh, "I will always be there, but right now I need some time and space away. You of all people should be able to appreciate that."

Mac whispers, "I'm not trying to take everything out on you, I promise."

Harm leans his head against the door of her office, completed defeated, "I know, Mac, but you seemed to have developed my condition of open mouth, insert foot. And right now, I have enough on my plate. I need your support, not your sarcasm. I used to think that I could count on that, without questioning my motives. I have some things to think about, and a little girl to meet. I might call you later tonight, IF I can manage to simmer down. In the meantime, you might want to go over your own thoughts, so that the next conversation we have isn't based solely on anger and hurt feelings."

After he leaves her office, Mac allows the tears to stream down her face, "What have I done?"

When she manages to compose herself, she reaches over and picks up her phone, dialing a number she never wanted to have to use again. She inquires, "Does Commander McCool by chance have any appointments available later this evening? If not, I'll take the next opening that she has."


	6. Regret is a Two-Way Street

_A/N: My sincerest apologies on the fact that this hasn't been updated in forever. The last time I updated it was last year when my puppy got sick. I lost him last December and between that and this pandemic, I needed to write the humor instead. Trying to get a little bit back in the swing of things. It will be a couple of chapters before Harm meets Charity. A little introspection is needed first._

* * *

**Part 6: Regret is a Two-Way Street**

**JAG HQ**

**Falls Church, VA**

**Harm's Office**

* * *

Harm dejectedly goes back to his own office, and slams the door. He sits at his desk, and buries his head in his hands. He is desperately trying to figure out why Mac is acting like this. He has been trying to give her the time and space that she needs to deal with the aftermath of Webb's faked death and subsequent return into her life, and her diagnosis of the endometriosis. He had told her, back on the beach at Manderley, to let him know when she was ready. Recently she seemed to pull him a little closer, a far cry from their better times, but closer nonetheless, but then she pushed him back away again. He could never tell from day to day, or even minute to minute whether she wanted him close to her or as far away as possible. Apparently, she isn't as ready to move past everything as he thought she was.

He knew she said that she wasn't into sharing, but he assumed that meant sharing a man with other women, not children. Surely, if their little baby deal had been able to come to fruition, she wouldn't have had a problem with sharing him, would she? He knew that a biological child between them was at best a pipe dream currently, but that didn't matter. He meant it when he told her it didn't matter how it happened, as long as they did it together. Now he is wondering if he put his eggs in the wrong basket all those years ago.

Realization suddenly dawns on him. That's it! I told her I wanted to do it together, and here I am playing the knight in shining armor to rescue the damsel in distress, again. However, I am flying solo. In Mattie's case, I basically kept her on the sidelines until it was absolutely necessary to inform her. It's no wonder she would think I would repeat history and do it again. She has a right to feel left out. I'm keeping her in the dark about another potentially important decision or at least playing my cards close to my vest.

Wait a minute. Why am I blaming myself when it is her that is pushing me away? More like we are both pushing each other, it's our modus operandi, one step forward and three steps back. I would blame it all on timing, but we both know it is about a lot more than that. At least from my perspective, I'm scared. I'm afraid of leaving the only life I have ever known. I'm nervous about venturing into the unknown. But haven't I done that already? Hell, I joined the CIA. Nothing in that world ever works the way it is supposed to, best laid plans of mice and men they are not.

It doesn't get much more unknown than the spook world until you travel to a different planet. Now, there's a decent thought. I wonder if NASA would be interested in a recycled pilot that is familiar with international law. I could pave the way for intergalactic law and bring Bud along with me to translate little green men speak. I'm quite certain that is one language the uptight Marine isn't fluent in.

No, I can't do that. I have obligations on this planet. I opened up my heart and my home to a teenager who needed guidance, and a chance to live out the rest of her childhood without adult responsibilities forcing her every move. Parenting a headstrong teenager wasn't exactly in my original plan either, but I managed to survive. I don't even know how Matie would feel about bringing another little girl into our family. I might want to have a discussion with her first before I make any potential commitment to Charity. And I will really need to start looking for a house. The current arrangement we have with Mattie in an apartment down the hall from my loft isn't the best practice for parenting, but I've had to work with the options I had available. Although if Mattie goes back to her father, the scenario will change again. Why do I feel like my life has taken a turn to where I am the pawn that everyone else gets to move around the board? The moment I feel like I have everything in place, and have chartered the correct course, the rules of engagement change.

Now, I might have to step up to the plate again with a child I may have fathered and never knew about. So, if I can take these steps, why it impossible for me to let Mac know that I love her? I've had no roadblocks telling Mattie that I love her, and Mattie even got me to admit that I love Mac. Why can I admit it to every person except the one person who needs to hear it the most? Well, that's not entirely true. I've really only admitted it out loud to one person, it was hard enough for me to even say it regardless of the fact that my heart has known for years. For a lawyer with a silver tongue in the courtroom, I seem to fail miserably about speaking my intentions to the person that it matters most with. I know I have screwed up miserably where our relationship is concerned over the years, but so has she. I guess regret is a two-way street. I just need to figure out how to fix it. I'll cross that bridge when I'm done being angry with her.

I need to go flying, that will help clear my head, and maybe put some things in perspective.

Harm picks up his phone to dial the Wing Commander of the Civilian Air Patrol (CAP) unit at Andrews to volunteer for a shift tonight. He punches three numbers before slamming the phone down, remembering, 'Shit! I can't go flying, I have to meet Charity tonight.'


	7. You and Me

_A/N: The title of this chapter comes from a fantastic tune by Lifehouse. So appropriately Harm and Mac. Please note that this call to CDR McCool is after the first time she saw her but before the 4% solution episode. _

_A/N 2: To my guest reviewer, you are correct with the timing. Harm does not have his twenty years in to be able to retire yet._

* * *

**Part 7: You and Me**

**JAG HQ**

**Falls Church, VA**

**Mac's Office**

* * *

The receptionist places Mac on hold. The doctor's receptionist had learned to read people's moods verbal and non-verbal cues after several years of experience, even over the phone. She knew from the sound of Mac's quiet voice that she needed to speak with the doctor as soon as possible. The Colonel was normally a force to be reckoned with, and she didn't sound like her usual self at all. After a few minutes, CDR McCool picks up herself.

She states, "Colonel MacKenzie. To say that I am surprised to hear from you would be an understatement. I figured that since I hadn't heard from you in a few months that you were done with therapy once you fulfilled your obligation. In fact, I didn't ever expect to hear from you again unless it was under direct order from your CO like the last time."

Mac sighs deeply, "Well, you did offer me the option to come back whenever I liked, or needed to in my case. I've done something stupid again, and I'm not quite sure how I can fix it."

CDR McCool inquires, "Is this is reference to another CIA debacle?"

Mac replies, "God no! I'm never doing that again."

The doctor prods, "Your significant other?"

Mac replies emphatically, "No! Yes. He's not exactly my significant other. It will take some time to explain."

CDR McCool states, "Ok. We can get into that during our session"

Mac sighs again, relegating herself to the fact that she needs this. As much for herself as well as to mend her relationship with the man who used to be her best friend. She asks, "When can you fit me in?"

CDR McCool replies, "I need to visit a friend at Georgetown Memorial, but I could fit you in a little later. My colleague at Georgetown is currently out of town, and wouldn't be opposed to my using his office for a session. I could squeeze you in around 1900 hours there or around 2030 at Bethesda. Which would be more convenient for you?"

Mac answers quickly, "Georgetown is actually a lot closer to home for me, so 1900 at Georgetown would be more convenient if you are sure that you don't mind. Whose office do I need to go to?"

CDR McCool answers, "Dr. Jillian Brogan. Her office is on the 5th floor of the Concentrated Care Center. Do I need to fax directions to you?"

Mac responds, "Nope, I'll find you. I'll see you at seven, and thank you for fitting me in on such short notice."

CDR McCool replies, "Not a problem at all Colonel. I'm looking forward to seeing you."

Mac hangs up the phone feeling slightly better. As much as her shrink rattles her nerves, sometimes just the sound of her voice soothes Mac and gives her hope. Kind of like the aviator in the office next to hers that she completely alienated earlier. She hasn't been the direct cause of thoroughly pissing him off too many times over the years, perhaps a couple dozen times if she is honest with herself, but she knows not to try and apologize to him just yet. It wouldn't do her any good right now, and he would probably just throw her out of his office. Even if he didn't, he would cross his arms over his chest, have his jaw squared, avoid eye contact with her at all costs, and speak one-word sentences while gritting his teeth if he even responded to her at all. She could bring a peace offering, but she doesn't think that an arugula salad would work this time. She screwed up big time, and it was definitely going to take some groveling on her part to try to mend fences.

She picks up a file, and starts perusing it trying to stave off the massive headache that is trying to invade her temples. Maybe this polygamy case that Sturgis handed her is bothering her a little bit more than she realizes. How did Warrant Officer Renfield see right through her? How did he know how badly she had been hurt? No man is that perceptive. Come to think of it, Staff Sergeant Hart, the other polygamist she was ordered to defend, was able to peg her pretty well also. Although at that point she was engaged, even if her heart was conflicted at the time.

She'd gotten so used to being dispassionate in her work that she let the detachment flow into her personal life. She needed to learn to lead with her heart, not her head, when it came to men. What might seem practical wouldn't necessarily make her happy. Unfortunately, that was a lesson she learned the hard way when she broke a man's heart that had given up everything for her. And now, she was on the verge of letting history repeat itself. She didn't want to break the one man that meant more to her than taking her next breath. She had almost done it several times after Paraguay, and she couldn't stand to see that look in his eyes again. However, the look she put in his eyes today came pretty damn close.

Suddenly, a thought comes to mind of what she can do to try and fix this. She picks up her phone and dials the number of a local shop, hoping they have what she needs and can deliver it this afternoon. The only problem is she doesn't know if it will make things better or worse.

Mac times the arrival of her gift for just after she leaves the office, securing a little early so that she can change before her appointment with CDR McCool. Coates walks awkwardly over to the Commander's Office juggling a rather large stuffed animal in her arms. She places said gift under one arm, and knocks with her opposite hand.

While Mac doesn't have the tendency that Harm does to enter the office without a verbal authorization to do so, he seriously hopes that she isn't the one on the other side of that door. He's still not ready to deal with her quite yet. He offers a curt, "Enter."

Jen shuffles into the room, trying not to get any part of the Commander's gift stuck on the doorknob or the blinds as she fumbles, "I'm sorry for another interruption, Sir, but this just arrived for you."

Harm's eyes go wide at what Jen is carrying. He inquires, "What in the world is that?"

Jen offers, "My guess would be a gift from the Colonel, but I didn't read the note. He's cute, don't you think?"

She places the huge, almost four-foot-long, stuffed beagle with a removable shirt that says "Sorry, I'm a Dumbass. Please forgive me" on his desk, and lays the accompanying note on top.

Harm shakes his head. He isn't sure whether to laugh or be thoroughly embarrassed at receiving a stuffed animal at the office. He replies, "Thanks, Jen. Dismissed."

After Jen has left his office, and closed the door behind her, Harm sits down and pulls a letter, not just a note, out of the envelope. He reads the following:

Harm,

I know this is rather inadequate for the pain that I have caused. I truly am sorry. I know that I said that apologizing is a sign of weakness, but weak is definitely how I feel right now. I don't expect you to keep a rather large stuffed animal, but I thought perhaps the little girl you are going to meet would enjoy the puppy. If she is in the care of Social Services, she could probably use some cheering up. However, you have to keep the shirt as evidence of a Marine's apology.

_All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right__  
__I'm tripping on words__  
__You've got my head spinning__  
__I don't know where to go from here_

_'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do__  
__Nothing to lose__  
__And it's you and me and all of the people__  
__And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you_

Always,

Sarah

Harm finishes reading, and folds his hands together, bringing his index finger to rest on his right cheek as he ponders what she wrote. He tilts the dog's face towards him, and laughs at his heart shaped nose. She definitely makes it hard for him to stay angry with her, but they are still going to need to deal with these issues. Somehow they need to stop letting anger and hurt dictate their words and actions.


	8. A Kind and Tender Stranger

_A/N: Ok time for Harm to meet Charity_

* * *

**Chapter 8: A Kind and Tender Stranger**

**Georgetown Memorial Hospital**

**Washington DC**

Harm arrives at the Pediatrics floor of the hospital with less than two minutes to spare before the time he agreed to meet Mrs. Tate. He had purposely left the stuffed puppy in his SUV, as he wanted to clear it with the Social Services worker first. Also, he didn't want to scare the little girl with a huge stuffed animal that just might be bigger than she is. He thought it would be best to get Mrs. Tate's opinion on all of it first.

Letting his mind wander at JAG wondering what to do about Mac made him lose all track of time. He also felt like he should at least thank her for the gift, and the effort behind it, before he left for the day. He also realized he should take a lesson from her in how to apologize. Although, if he had bought her just one rose for each time that he stuck his foot in his mouth with her, he would probably be broke. He also might have very well wiped out every shop in the district of roses.

When he went looking for her, she was gone, and so was her car. Coates informed him that she had left early for an appointment which only made him question what was going on with her even more. He really hoped that the endometriosis hadn't flared up again, but that would have at least explained Mac's horrible mood earlier. He will swing by her place later tonight and see if she will clue him in as to what is going on.

He ran by his loft to give Mattie a quick rundown of what he was going to be doing tonight, and to change into something less daunting than a military uniform. Mattie told him to wear a polo and a worn pair of jeans. That was something similar to what he wore the first time that she met Harm. Mattie shook her head at her guardian, and left him with a bit of parting advice as he was leaving the apartment, "Make sure you reduce altitude. You are far too big for small little girls, and you might intimidate her just by being you."

* * *

He hasn't had butterflies in his stomach since flight school, but as he steps off the elevator, he realizes that he is extremely anxious to meet Renee's daughter. He spies a nurse's desk midway down the corridor, and Mrs. Tate is sitting in the chairs across from it. He quickens his strides towards her, ignoring the jitters he is feeling inside. He needs to be calm and collected when he meets Charity. Time to bring out the fighter jock control, just not the arrogance. The last thing he wants to do is scare her.

Mrs. Tate chuckles when he reaches her, "Running late as usual, Commander?"

Harm grins sheepishly, "I wouldn't want anyone to be shocked if I actually arrived on time."

The Social Worker smiles as she asks, "Nervous?"

Harm nods his head in the affirmative, "A little."

Mrs. Tate tells him, "She doesn't bite, and she's very sweet. Just a little scared and confused right now."

Harm nods imperceptibly, swallowing the lump in his throat, "Does she know about her mother yet?"

Mrs. Tate replies solemnly, "Yes, she does. That's part of why she is so scared. She doesn't know what is going to happen to her. I told her that I was bringing a friend by to meet her, so she is expecting you. If you are ready, her room is right down here."

Harm quietly replies, "Lead the way."

When they reach Charity's room, Mrs. Tate holds her index finger up, silently asking Harm to wait a minute outside the door.

Mrs. Tate walks into the room and tells Charity, "I have someone here that I want you to meet."

Harm hears a quiet little voice that says, "Okay. Is it a nice woman?"

Mrs. Tate runs a loving hand through the girls' hair. She replies, "Actually, it's a man. Yes, he is very kind and gentle. He is also very tall. Don't you worry though, he is one of the nicest guys I've ever met."

Charity sits up a little in the bed, and says, "Okay. I want to meet him."

Mrs. Tate sits down next to Charity on the bed and calls out, "Harm. Please come in so I can introduce you to Charity."

Harm walks in, and Charity gives him the same wide-eyed look that was in Darlynn's eyes the first time that she saw him. He probably seems like a giant to a pint-sized human being. Mattie's advice filters through his brain reminding him to "reduce altitude."

He crouches down next to the bed so that he is at eye level with Charity. He makes sure that he is far enough away so that he doesn't invade her personal space. The last things he wants to do is frighten her with his overwhelming presence. He resists the urge to study her features for resemblances to himself and Renee, there will be plenty of time for that later. He reaches his hand out in greeting with a quiet voice and a soft smile, and states, "Hi Charity, my name is Harm. I was a friend of your mom's."

Charity isn't quite sure what to make of this tall, strange man, but something inside her tells her not to be afraid of him. He has a sweet smile, and a tenderness behind his eyes. She looks to Mrs. Tate for reassurance.

Mrs. Tate gives her a slight nod and a smile, "It's ok, Charity. He's a friend."


	9. The Ball

_A/N: Not sure if the child speak here is too adult or not for a four-year-old, but Renee is the one who surprised me with her use of the word "propinquity" and Harm having to ask what that was. Therefore, I am making the assumption that her child would be well spoken also. As always, a great big thank you to my beta reader!_

* * *

**Chapter 9: The Ball**

* * *

Charity takes Harm's offered hand and her whole hand fits in just the palm of his. She quietly says, "Hi."

Harm can't help but notice how Charity's tiny whispered voice sounds similar to Mac's when she says "Hey."

Harm says, "I don't want to frighten you, but I'm afraid if I stay crouched down here on the floor for too long, that my back will probably yell at me."

Charity giggles, "Your back can't talk. It doesn't have a mouth."

Harm grins, "It may not have a mouth, but when you get older, parts of you start to hurt and they definitely let you know."

Charity asks, "Like when I skinned my knee and mommy put stuff on it so I wouldn't get a 'fection? That really hurt!"

Harm smiles, "Yes, just like that. Except my back doesn't bleed, it just hurts sometimes. Do you mind if I stand up?"

Charity replies, a little louder this time, "Okay."

Harm stands up to his full height, and Charity's eyes go wide. She exclaims "Wow! You can almost touch the ceiling!"

Harm laughs, "I actually can if I reach my hand up." He demonstrates by raising his arm above his head, and placing his palm flat against the ceiling.

Charity smiles, "That's pretty cool." She eyes him more closely, and says, "Do I know you? You look kind of familiar."

Harm replies, "No, we haven't met before today. Do you think you have seen me before?"

Charity nods, "I think I saw a picture of you once. You had your arm around my mom. She had on a really pretty black dress that went around her neck, and you wore a white suit, but it had gold as well. There were other people in the picture too. There was another lady in a black dress with the same hair color as my mom, a brown-haired lady in a gold dress, and a really pretty lady that looked like a princess in a red dress. The guys were all dressed like you, except the one man that looked like a penguin. Did you go to a party?"

Harm remembers that night well. They were all rushing back – him, Mac, Bud, and the Admiral, from the Wake Island where they were on an investigation trying to clear Mikey Roberts of potential charges. The whole trip had a few hiccups, to put it mildly, along the way. Mac looked absolutely beautiful in her red dress. It really is one of her best colors. What sticks out in his mind the most though, is that it was the night that Mic returned to their lives.

Mic's sudden reappearance had knocked him on his ass. It was easy to forget about Mac's relationship with the arrogant Aussie ass when he was on another continent, but when he showed back up after giving up everything for 'the woman he loved,' Harm was completely taken aback. What had he himself ever sacrificed for the women he loved, or for any other woman for that matter? He had quickly glanced back at Mac and the expression on her face was not only one of surprise, but almost one of trepidation. Harm wasn't quite sure what to make of it, but knew he was going to have to confront his feelings. Shaking himself from his musings, he answers Charity's question, "Actually, we were at a ball. The Surface Warfare Ball."

The little girls' eyes light up like a Christmas tree, "A real ball? Like the one that princes and princesses go to and people dance?"

Harm chuckles at her enthusiasm, remarking at how wonderous something seems to a child that he finds boring as can be. He replies animatedly, "Yes, a real ball. That is why we were dressed up all fancy. The man I worked for at the time was there to accept an award. I probably danced more that night than I ever have in my life. And I didn't even step on anyone's toes."

Charity laughs, "Why would you step on someone's toes?"

Harm lifts his leg up, and points down to his shoe, laughing with her, "Because I have big feet!"

Charity's eyes go as wide as saucers, "Wow your feet are almost as big as my whole arm!"

Harm chuckles, "They weren't always that big. I had to grow into them."

Charity sits up enthusiastically, wanting to know more, "Did you guys arrive on horses? Was there a carriage? Did anyone turn into a pumpkin at midnight?"

Harm chuckles at her enthusiasm as Mrs. Tate slides off the bed, and pulls a chair over so that Harm can sit down next to Charity. Harm nods his head as a 'thank you.' He looks at Charity and starts to explain, "No, this wasn't like Cinderella. We didn't have any fairy godmothers, or carriages, or magic wands, or horses."

'Other than the horses' ass that showed up,' he thinks to himself.

He continues, "I'm pretty sure that no one turned into a pumpkin at midnight, but you never know. There was a lot of food at the ball so people probably felt as full as a pumpkin. Sometimes adults just get dressed up in really nice outfits and go out for a night to eat, dance, and talk to other adults."

Charity asks, "Do kids get to come too?"

Harm winces, "Not to this specific ball, it's just for adults. But little girls get to dress up like princesses every once in a while, and boys get to look handsome, too. In fact, my godson wore a uniform that was almost an exact replica of one of mine when he was your age."

Charity asks, "How many uniforms do you have?"

Harm chuckles as he answers, "A bunch. I have to wear one to work every day."

Charity giggles, "Doesn't that get boring? I like mixing up my clothes every day. I don't even think I have ever worn the same thing twice."

Harm smiles, "With as many clothes as your mom had, I don't doubt that!"

Charity starts to tear up, "I miss my mommy."

Harm sets his hand on her arm, "I'm sure you do sweetie."


	10. Little Things

**Little Things**

Harm really wishes that he had some of Mac's insight right about now. Even though he grew up without his biological father, he still had father figures in his life even before his mother remarried and Frank filled that role. He had no concept of what it was like to be a girl losing her mother especially at such a young age. Even though Mac's mother hadn't died, she had abandoned her.

His musings are interrupted when Charity inquires, "What is going to happen to me now?"

Mrs. Tate is about to answer her, but Harm beats her to the punch. He tells her, "First of all, you are going to stay here and let the doctors make sure that you are well enough to be released. Then, after they say you can leave, you are going to live with some new people. I'm sure that Mrs. Tate will be able to find a great home for you where you are loved."

Charity asks, "Am I going to live with you?"

Harm inwardly flinches before cautiously replying, "I'm not sure yet, Charity. It's something Mrs. Tate and I need to talk about. Your mom wanted for you to come and live with me if something happened to her, but the court will have to make a decision on what is best for you. One of the things your mom didn't know about me, as it happened after I last talked to her, is that I currently have another child living with me."

Charity eyes light up, "Is she close to my age?"

Harm chuckles, "Actually, she is a teenager, and her name is Mattie."

Charity replies, "Oh. Where is her mommy?"

Harm answers, "Her mommy is in Heaven, like yours. That's where all the wonderful women who love their little girls go to when they die."

Charity tries her best, but a few tears stream down her face as she repeats, "I miss my mommy."

Harm leans over and wraps one arm around the little girl's shoulders pulling her to his side, "I know you do sweetheart. You know, I was around your age when I lost my father too."

Charity whispers, "I've never had a dad. Is yours in Heaven with my mom?"

Harm tries to find a way to explain the trials and tribulations his father went through that a young girl might understand, knowing that what he went through himself to find out the truth was a lot more complicated. He doesn't want to give Charity any hope that her mom is actually still out there alive, so he needs to leave that part out for now.

He scoots closer, "Actually, he is. I was only a little older than you the last time I saw him. You see, my dad flew planes for the Navy and he had to go off to war. During the war, his plane got shot down on Christmas Eve and nobody knew where he was. The Navy has a term for that called 'Missing in Action.' A couple of servicemen came to our house and told us what happened to my dad. My mom and I both cried a lot then too. After several years, when no one had reported seeing my father again, he was declared dead. Eventually my mother remarried, and I ended up with a stepfather."

The little girl starts to yawn so Mrs. Tate tells her, "Charity, we are going to let you get some rest. I'm going to go down and talk to Mr. Rabb for a little while, but I will be back shortly to check on you. Just in case you are asleep when I come back, I want you to know that I will be here tomorrow morning."

Charity' eyes droop as she points at Harm, "Is he coming back too?"

Mrs. Tate looks to Harm, who responds, "Yes, Charity. I will come back and say goodnight to you."

Harm and the social worker head downstairs to the hospital cafeteria. He grabs a cup of coffee while she opts for a cup of chamomile. They sit down at one of the long white tables and Mrs. Tate inquires, "So, what do you think?"

Harm replies instantly, "She's a great kid."

The social worker is not surprised at his abbreviated response. She remarks, "Something is holding you back though." This is more of a statement than a question.

Harm nods before continuing, "Yeah, there is. One of my major concerns is the timing. We are without a Commanding Officer at the moment. One of the other senior attorneys is acting JAG at the moment, leaving us one person down to go out for investigations and be in court. This means the chances of me being sent away, including to areas in theater, drastically increases. Mattie is self-sufficient for the most part. You already know the arrangement that we have with Jennifer Coates, and that she looks after her when I have to be away. That's not entirely the same thing as leaving her with a little girl. Jennifer isn't my spouse, my girlfriend, or even a significant other. She looks after Mattie as a favor to me in exchange for cheaper rent on an apartment."

Mrs. Tate replies, "I was aware that you and Jennifer weren't together in that sense. I believe the Navy has rules against officers and enlisted being together. I didn't realize that your job had changed that much."

Harm responds, "The job itself hasn't changed that much, but the acting JAG is…" Harm trails off trying to find a diplomatic way to explain Sturgis. "Not of the same level of integrity as the Admiral was. He is our colleague being placed in a temporary position of power, and it's going to his head. All he cares about is having every 'I' dotted, and every 'T' crossed, everything by the book to get the job done. He doesn't care about human interactions or personal relationships. As short-handed as we currently are, me asking for personal leave is not going to go over very well with him."

Mrs. Tate asks, "Is work the only obstacle?"

Harm shakes his head in the negative, "I believe living arrangements are another big issue. My home inspection for Mattie didn't go over very well the first time. As you know, I live in a loft, so there is no separate living space for Charity to have a bedroom. I would need to start searching for a house, and the chances of me finding one and being able to move into it fast enough for the courts to place her with me is very unlikely."

Mrs. Tate nods her head in understanding. She remarks, "The courts still might be willing to let her stay on your couch if you can show documentation that moving into somewhere more appropriate is happening as quickly as possible, or worst case she would need to stay with a foster family until you were moved into a house."

Harm adds, "I also know that the court was very reluctant to let Mattie come and live with me. I'm a forty-year-old bachelor. I know how that looks. Regardless of her mother's wishes, I can't see a judge not asking some of the same questions in this case if she isn't biologically my daughter."

Mrs. Tate nods again. It is a little odd for a man of Harm's age and marital status to request custody of not one but two girls that are of no known blood relation to him. She notes, "You have more than enough people to vouch for your impeccable character. Including Social Services, and a written letter from the girls' mother expressing her wishes. But yes, I am fully aware of how that might be perceived."

Harm replies, "I'm going to need a few days to think about this. I want a DNA test done as quickly as possible. If she is biologically my child, then I will do whatever I have to do for us to be together. If she isn't my daughter by blood, I'm still not saying no, but I do have to consider a new direction for my current lifestyle."

Mrs. Tate replies, "Take the time you need to decide if you want to pursue this or not, but please let me know soon. If this isn't a path you want to go down, I definitely want to be prepared with back-up options."

Harm knew that he was close to being able to retire from the Navy if he so chose. He doesn't have his twenty years in just yet, but he is awful close. However, after having recently spent time out of uniform, he wasn't sure that he was ready to hang it up permanently. He's always wanted a family, but the way he is getting one is definitely not the conventional way, nor is it the way he would have planned to do. Regardless of the way it has come about, he wouldn't trade his time with his surrogate family for anything. And while he loves Mattie as if she were his own, he really would like to have a biological child with the woman he is meant to be with. Although both of those things seem significantly out of his reach at the present moment. Him and Mac are nowhere in the same vicinity of "happily ever after" and even if they were, her condition may preclude them from ever having a biological child together. It's not impossible, but it will definitely be an uphill battle.

As they are leaving the cafeteria, he adds, "I do have something in my SUV that I would like to give Charity though, if that is okay? It's just a stuffed animal. I thought it might help her feel a little better."

The social worker smiles at the Commander's thoughtfulness. Whether or not Charity is his child by birth, it would definitely be in the girls' best interest if he raised her. He would instill great values along with a sense of adventure. She replies, "Why don't you go ahead and grab it. I will head back up to Charity's room with a stop to the nurses' station to see what we will need for the DNA test. You can meet me back up there so we can tell her goodnight."

Harm leaves her at the elevator and jogs out to his SUV to retrieve the large stuffed puppy dog. He pulls the shirt off, as its message is definitely not appropriate for little girls. He smiles to himself thinking he might hang the shirt on his office wall so that he can simply point to it in future instances when either him or Mac needs to apologize to the other.

Harm reaches Charity's floor and Mrs. Tate is just outside the room. As he approaches, she places her index finger pointing up in front of her lips. Harm softens his steps and when he reaches her, she tells him, "She's zonked out for the night. Go ahead and tell her goodnight and I will make sure she knows that you came by."

Harm walks into the room and reaches over and runs his fingers through Charity's soft locks and whispers, "Goodnight angel, sweet dreams." He places the gift near her arm which Charity immediately wraps around the animal in her sleep. It brings a smile to Harm's face, knowing that he is giving her something to hold onto in her time of need. He tiptoes out of the room to meet the social worker at the nurses' station.

Mrs. Tate's heart melted as she watched his tenderness with the little girl. She has seen many children in bad situations over the years she has worked for social services. It always brings her joy when the child ends up in a better situation than where they started. And if there is one thing she knows, it's that this man was born to be a father. "Harm, this nice young woman here can explain the DNA process options to you."

Harm leans against the counter, "I have to say that all of this came as a shock to me, and it's not something I have ever done before. What are my options?"

The nurse hands him a couple of pamphlets and explains, "DNA testing can be done either via cheek swab or having blood drawn, whichever you prefer. Cheek swabs are less invasive and not shown to be any less accurate than blood typing. Using DNA testing will provide the most accurate results. We should be able to tell you within a few days whether she is biologically your child or not."

Harm nods his head, "Can we take my sample tonight?"

The nurse replies, "Yes, we can. I have an exam ready just down the hall whenever you are ready."

Harm looks at Mrs. Tate, "I would like to stop by again tomorrow night if that is okay with you?"

Mrs. Tate smiles, "I'll see you here tomorrow, same time."

Harm looks at the nurse, slightly nervous, "Lead the way."


End file.
